Where did the time go?

Yesterday I started getting ready for the new school year. I pulled out all of the school supplies I already have to sort through. Among those papers was my son's welcome to 4th grade letter from his teacher from last year. I teared up! Where did the time go?

I think back to last summer when my son was only 9 & still pulled out his "guys" (small plastic action figures) to have battles all over my living room. He lived at the swim club last year and it was the first time I did not have to watch him. He also loved to still watch cartoons like Transformers.

These activities have faded away over the fourth grade year. My son spends most of his time playing some sport or on his skateboard. He is not a skaterboy yet. He watches ICarly on t.v. & I think he has a crush on the star! We have also been invaded by Tech Decks & the action figures are staying put in a bin in the basement. Hopefully one day, he will have a son who will get them.

So yes I teared up! I could descibe their toys they have left behind like stuffed animals and Lego's. I could list all of the sweet things he used to say. The saddest thing is I hope I will not be left behind too. I no longer kiss boo-boos or tuck anyone into bed. I spend my days driving and buying. I spend my days talking and sometimes shouting.

The good part is we do different things now. We play cards together. We take hikes. We play sports. We go to museums and movies. We can do these things for a long time without naps or snacks. I barely carry any bags filled with necessities like snacks and extra clothes or god forbid, diapers around anymore. We can go to any type of restaurant and leisurely sit and enjoy a meal.

The hard part and the sad part is that the time goes too quickly. I think about first days of school, first bike rides and all the other firsts that have come and go and I would like to rewind. I miss it. I know I am halfway through my children's lives with me. Someday they will be gone. They seem to be leaving a little bit grade by grade. So this year I will put a 5th grader on the bus with his new backpack and his sudden urgent need for an IPod.

I will wave good-bye to him as he leaves for his last year of elementary school. I will wave good-bye to a boy who is quickly becoming a man. I hope he too carries the sweet memories. I hope these memories make him stronger. I hope these memories carry him through good and bad times. I hope he knows I love him as the boy he was and the man he is becoming.