Time

I just looked at the clock. I have 30 minutes roughly to get ready. I also had to set my alarm today. I'll be home by 3:30. I need to get my son out of the house today by 5:54 to get to football practice on time. My daughter babysat last night & was supposed to be home at 6 p.m. but came home around 8 p.m. I am good with time and watch the digital clock move time tick by tick by tock.

I have always been an early bird. I hate being late. I usually can guess what time it is. I believe my inner clock works fine. Why do I have to keep one? They say time is relevant, I say time is relinquished. I hate giving mine up especially at the end of summer. This is the wrong time to ask me about it since today is the first day for teachers to report back including me.

Yesterday, I wanted time to move more slowly. Today, I want it to rev up. Then I want it to slow down so I can spend time with my kids in the afternoon. Time never seems to get doled out evenly. I have a little time then a lot. I have no time then all of the time in the world. When can I find the time to get everything done? Maybe I should just stop blowing off time by writing this blog and get the day started.

Doo-dads and extras, why can't I make my blog pretty?

Among other things on my list of to-do's, I want to make my blog look pretty. I just do not have the time or the brain power to do it yet. I have a Spanish presentation to finish. My son's room needs to be done. I have to call the dr. & dentist for my daughter. I have vocabulary lists to type up for my 8th grade French class. I have to go school.

On top of all that, I am neglecting lots of other things that need to be done. Don't ask. My poor husband also needs some attention & who can get the dog to stop barking at me? So please accept my blog as is for now. It is pretty enough for me. I know I do not have any cute pics or advertisements adorning the sides yet. I think it looks good as is. Look ma, no spelling errors!

Where did the time go?

Yesterday I started getting ready for the new school year. I pulled out all of the school supplies I already have to sort through. Among those papers was my son's welcome to 4th grade letter from his teacher from last year. I teared up! Where did the time go?

I think back to last summer when my son was only 9 & still pulled out his "guys" (small plastic action figures) to have battles all over my living room. He lived at the swim club last year and it was the first time I did not have to watch him. He also loved to still watch cartoons like Transformers.

These activities have faded away over the fourth grade year. My son spends most of his time playing some sport or on his skateboard. He is not a skaterboy yet. He watches ICarly on t.v. & I think he has a crush on the star! We have also been invaded by Tech Decks & the action figures are staying put in a bin in the basement. Hopefully one day, he will have a son who will get them.

So yes I teared up! I could descibe their toys they have left behind like stuffed animals and Lego's. I could list all of the sweet things he used to say. The saddest thing is I hope I will not be left behind too. I no longer kiss boo-boos or tuck anyone into bed. I spend my days driving and buying. I spend my days talking and sometimes shouting.

The good part is we do different things now. We play cards together. We take hikes. We play sports. We go to museums and movies. We can do these things for a long time without naps or snacks. I barely carry any bags filled with necessities like snacks and extra clothes or god forbid, diapers around anymore. We can go to any type of restaurant and leisurely sit and enjoy a meal.

The hard part and the sad part is that the time goes too quickly. I think about first days of school, first bike rides and all the other firsts that have come and go and I would like to rewind. I miss it. I know I am halfway through my children's lives with me. Someday they will be gone. They seem to be leaving a little bit grade by grade. So this year I will put a 5th grader on the bus with his new backpack and his sudden urgent need for an IPod.

I will wave good-bye to him as he leaves for his last year of elementary school. I will wave good-bye to a boy who is quickly becoming a man. I hope he too carries the sweet memories. I hope these memories make him stronger. I hope these memories carry him through good and bad times. I hope he knows I love him as the boy he was and the man he is becoming.