Who is this 13 1/2 yr old girl?

I have a 13 1/2 year old. Do you have one at your house? She is unpredictable & lovely. She is tired & energized. She is funny & sarcastic. She is smart & busy. She is young & old. I wouldn't trade her for the world.

p.s. She can cook too!

Pre-teen with teen ideals

I do not know who invented the word pre-teen. It is a subtle warning to all that will come. I would like to now throw a new word into the lexicon: pre-forty. Both words sound so much better than the actual words: teen & forty. My daughter is on the cusp of thirteen & I am on the cusp of forty. This is not a good mix. I feel tired and old but I am supposed to look 28! My daughter is young and fresh but she is supposed to look older and cool.

I know I can remember my own teen age years but I never had to deal with myself as a teen. There is no pre- to our 12 year old anymore. I think we are now officially in the teens.

I did not get any warnings. The pre- left with her flavored lip glosses and cute books about lost puppies who find their way home. The pre- left quietly in all of her pink and purple and sometimes tomboyish innocence. She left without saying a L8R or LOL! BTW, the pre-teen wants to take her cute pink cell phone with her & expects a newer and better one its place.

The teen then just showed up. She ran into the house, left her stuff in the hallway and ran to her room without a word or a text message. I had seen the teen lurking around before this with her new piercing needs and her excessive phone use. I had hoped she would ease herself into the mix but I have learned that is not possible.

First, I want to know what the chat abbreviation for moody is. Then, I would invent one for outlandish expectations and even greater needs. She has not cranked the music up yet but I am trying to find my sweet daughter through all of the wires she is attached to. The teen spent 10 hours at the mall this weekend in two separate days. During this time, she spent all of her babysitting money on even more tank tops and another cute little change purse. She never called but instead TM'ed me when she needed something like a ride. (Hey moms, where are all of you? Why I am I the ride mom?)

The teen also attended a birthday party. Afterwards, it was expressed to me that her friend's mom was cooler than moi because I will not throw her a grand, extravagant birthday party this year like her friend had. The teen could not be dropped off any earlier than the party's start but when we arrived late, this all of my fault. How horrible to be 3 minutes late. Before this, there were 5 clothing changes and a trip to the drugstore in order to get a forgotten card. The icing on this birthday cake was that my teen was not happy that we took her brother to the movies w/o her because she was at this party.

Oh, pre-teen you can come back and visit anytime. I loved your shyness and your silliness. I loved your inability to tell time or even care about it. I have your room ready. It is the one we did together that you absolutely loved and now want to repaint. I loved buying everything for you in sweet flavors. I loved helping you find clothes instead of just sitting outside the store. Most of all, I would love for you to give me a few clues about the teen. Don't just leave her and myself hanging. I see her every once in awhile using the strawberry lip gloss and I know you are around. I know you can relate and can tell me how.

Shopping with a 12 year old a.k.a."Mums" the word.

I have learned after my 12,000 shopping trips with my daughter to keep my mouth shut. Yesterday, we went on the hunt for a new bikini. She already has 3 or 4 but none are right for her upcoming pool party. I have protested at home but she wants a 2 certain pieces she does have. I am a frugal mom. She has been babysitting. We are going to split the price

My daughter is a good shopper. She does her pre-shopping online then we go to the mall to get the things she wants. I do not hate the mall. In fact, I love the mall. I just do not have the patience to shop with someone else. I am also a quick chooser. If I cannot walk in & see it in 2 seconds then I am done and gone. My daughter loves to grab racks of clothes to try on. I sit off to the side waiting for her to come out. If I make a suggestion or a comment then I may ruin the whole process. She may grab whole new racks of clothes. It is the golden rule that if mom likes it then it is not cool. My new favorite clothing stores are now the ones where I see lots of chairs for me.

The pre-shopping works sometimes. Yesterday it did not. I thought we would be in and out. That particular store did not have the bottoms she wanted out of the 5 selections. I know you want to know why we did not order online or call ahead. First, she needed it in 2 days. Second, the store had temporarily moved to redecorate and nobody was answering the phone. We moved on to another store.

My daughter has grown and in her pre-teen mind did not want to move up a size in bikinis. In the second store I found my corner and she went in with her 15 choices. Each top did not fit right. I humbly suggesting getting the next size up. This was deemed as unacceptable with a little stomp to accompany it. That was a rookie mistake. I opened my mouth to give her an opinion. My daughter has a great look which mixes up a what do I know signal with how dare you open your mouth. I have lost my fashion sense but I have still have the upper hand because I still hold the fashion "cents". I wait patiently in my chair.

We go to the third store. The third store is a little more upscale with tinier clothes especially the bikinis. I cross my fingers and remember to keep my mouth shut. I know it is here in tiny bikini-land that she will find the one she loves. I look for the fox hole to jump in when I say no.
It is a miracle! She does not like one of the $100 teeny-weeny bikinis. She does however like 2 pairs of shorts and 2 tank tops. These do total $100.

The fourth store has nothing, nada, zip. I even make the mistake of holding up what I thought was the style she wants. Oh no, did I not see that tiny, globby thing on the left part of the bikini that just ruins it. Where are my bi-focals? Where is my muzzle? I see over in the corner a large department store with semi-reasonable prices. I know she has never been there. I know they will have racks of suits. Do I dare?

I hate department store and rarely take her to one. It is too much work to go through the endless racks of clothes. One bonus is they do have chairs in the dressing room. I make the suggestion and she accepts. We go in. Immediately, she finds 4 suits that match her style. We grab 6 others just in case. She tries them on. The first 4 do not do look good. I am sitting and I am calm. I have said little. We are agreeing. The next 6 do not look good. I am sitting and now I am praying. I am sent out for a different size bottom. I also suggest getting maybe getting a different size top too. It is accepted. A Christmas miracle in June. I'll take it.

As I am going for the 2 items, I also grab 3 other suits that may work. I open the dressing room door quickly and throw them in. My hand comes back out intact. She tries them on! Guess what, 1 of my choices works. I say nothing and remained seated. I look around for another mom to celebrate with but I am alone. The best news of all is they are having a sale too.

She comes out. She is not willing to commit and we put the bikini on hold at the cash register. We need to go to 2 more stores. I smile and nod. She does not see the tear trickling down my left cheek nor the limp I now have. I think we have circled the mall 3 times. The next store has no good bikinis but it has great flip-flops. We buy them and we leave. The next store is the first store and we are going back to double check. In this store, we now find a dress for an up-coming party. Cha-ching. I now have tears going down both cheeks and an empty wallet.

As we exit this store, I cannot think of another place or another style bikini. I want to be done. I do not want to go into another dark cave reeking of cheap cologne resembling a hip place without chairs. She turns to me and say that she is ready to buy the one on hold. I regain my strength I even do a little jig but I say nothing. If I say I love the suit I might lose the deal.

I sprint to the store. There is no in line. Am I heaven? Did I die on the way? I say nothing. We buy the suit. We leave the mall. The sun is still out. It is still the same day. I have survived even though I spent 3x more than I thought I would. We drive down the street and she is rifling through her bags. Then I hear the dreaded "Mom, where is my Gap bag?". I silently turn the car around and head back to mall.